I wanted to start this post with a horrible commercial that pops up on Hulu: 5-hour Energy. The "busy moms" version to be specific. I hate the commercials for obvious reasons (they're commercials) but this one rubs my eyebrows the wrong way. The woman gets home from work with grocery bags, and says she needs energy for her second job (kids, home, husband). Her husband has suggested she take energy shots to stay peppy, and we see him sitting on the couch reading the paper (ostensibly after work also?). Does he have a second job? It doesn't look like it. Why does she have a second job and he's maxin' and relaxin'?
The Husband is thinking about not teaching a class next semester, in order to focus on his thesis. Excellent! He is ABD (all but dissertation). Though this will be the first time he's ever done this, so I'm horrified at the great expanses of time ahead of him. Do I love him? Do I admire him? Do I believe in him? Yes, yes and yes. Do I believe he is incredibly susceptible to the call of the internet, Oh Great Time Suck? Big yes. He is on his laptop from the time he gets up till the time he goes to bed. Now that he has an iPhone, he reads his news in bed*. I'm looking around on the internet for the program that locks you out of your favorite sites for blocks of time, but I can't summon the proper keywords. Hell, I could use it too.
WARNING: Rant alert!
He wastes so much time on the internet! He claims he is looking at his RSS to see if jobs have popped up, but it really looks like he's reading the Times or webcomics or some other completely non-job/science related piece of animated cat crap**. On the days where I can fully take care of the house and he can go off and focus solely on his work, I still have to shove him out of the house and tell him to stop reading LifeHacker. And he acts hurt when I do this. The truth is, he has tried to blame me for him not getting enough work done, and I say BULLSHIT to that. That has hurt my feelings more than anything he has ever done to me.*** So when I make him breakfast, tell him I'll take care of things at home, even sometimes offer to make him a little lunch so he doesn't have to interrupt his writing and he is still futzing on the internet and acting slighted when I tell him he really needs to get going, it drives me insane. I start thinking I am overreacting. When really I just want to get the hell out of this town, my shitty job, and any chance he has to think that I am the one who is holding all this up. Hello? I'm holding someone's life up? I'm in the way? Oh no you didn't.
Him not teaching means no income on his side. He has considerable savings, so we won't go poor, but I'll still be the only one bringing in income. He'll be completely at his own leisure to get things done, and I'll still be working my two jobs and shouldered with the responsibility for income. He'll be sipping coffee all day and I'll still be coming home to cleaning. I'm getting upset just writing about this.
I need to talk to him. Like, tonight. We need to figure out how long he can do this. I'm saying a semester, and then we'd better be out of here. He'll need to make hours for himself, and he will need to make a schedule for working and not surf. He doesn't need to make our living room couch his office, because that is my space too. If he is working, he needs to be somewhere he can close a door. If he is not working, he needs to spend less time on the internet in the first place. Mostly because if he is not working, he really should be helping out around the house more.
For myself, I am going to stop using the internet so much at home. I'm going to clear a space for my laptop, put it there and turn it off. We are eating at the table, no more struggling to find something good to watch during meals and settling with Running Wilde. That's a really terrible show, which is a shame. I need to re-direct the white-hot ire I am feeling right now from my husband (who really is my favorite person in the world) to the internet. So I don't go home and smash his computer and lock him in a room.
I am going to get a drink first, though.
*Not allowed to use the iPhone in bed unless we're doing something together. It's distracting for me to have that stuff in the bedroom. It's where I sleep!
**Ok, I love that stuff. But in its place.
***He never hurts my feelings, so I guess it's not really that bad.