NATIONAL CRAFT MONTH

Us dorky makers have a month! A whole month! I got this hot tip from Heidi over at Hands Occupied.  How will we celebrate? I know I fell off the 28-days-of-blogging bandwagon (though to be fair, I did post 28 times) but I think maybe I will put up a picture of something I'm working on every day, and if I'm not working on something, just a picture of something I've made.  I will try to post some pictures of my new dress (and really crappy hand-made slip) after class tonight.

Craft projects for March:

2 more Louisa knock-offs
a giant banana
Grocery store murder scene diorama*
a red slip (gotta find a pattern)
new canvas purse
something green for my hair to accentuate the carrot-y color (new)
frame for Gabby Schultz comic print

Here's a picture of Ace Frehley of the Flowers while you wait:

So, the other focus of this blog, er, my travails with my spouse, are LOOKING UP!  Ever since the weird upset of him re-thinking academia, he has been glowing, and I'm catching it too.  He's sending me job listings that sound exciting and Google maps of the area, asking me where I want to go.  I know the economy might still be shitty, but it looks like there are lots of jobs in industry he can apply for, and enjoy working at.  In freaking awesome places.

But it only just occurred to me today, when he asked if I would like to live in Austin, TX, that wherever we move may be the place we die.  I realize how morbid it sounds coming out, but you've gotta understand that I spent my childhood moving around.  Not as much as an army kid, but enough that I don't know what to call my hometown and I haven't known any current friends more than 15 years.  My accent isn't even placeable.  For the past 3+ years I've planned on moving around a bit before settling down, so the sudden idea that we'll move somewhere and that's where we'll stay is really, really weird.

How do I know if I want to spend the rest of my life in Austin? Or Portland? Or Providence? I've only been to a few cities, and only for a week or less.  How will I know?  Luckily most of the decision hinges on where the best job is.  Where we move has never been a point of contention-- it was just the idea of moving.  Though that where should have some good job opportunities for me.

Other than working in libraries, what can I do? That pays? I am going to take some assessments on the Arkansas jobs site and see if it points me in any directions.  J says I could possibly do some low-level HR, but NOOOOOOOOOOO.  Unless I was an intern for Alison Green and Ask a Manager (her advice greatly helped me get my current job, and J is addicted too).  All my experience is in a library, or supervising people on projects.  Though I wish it was marketable, I don't know where my crafting will get me. One artsy friend has been whispering in my ear about design school.  Someone tell me what a bad idea that is.

*I really wish my phone was workable enough to post the pictures of the tiny, bloody handprints I have drawn on my fingers as stamps.

Academia to Industry

J's been thinking about the possibility of moving his attention to industry or government jobs instead of academia.  There's lots of good reasons for this, and most of them mean that things will be better for me (except for the possible cheap tuition), but I got incredibly freaked out.  He says there's no way he wouldn't finish his PhD (too damn close) but the seemingly sudden change from life in academia to "What would it be like to work at Mac?" at first seemed like an odd lapse of attention.

We had a friend who got married. Less than a year later that friend decided he was gay.  That freaked me out too, because nobody had any idea! These things coming out of nowhere, when you think you really know somebody, things that change the game plan, this is the feeling I got. The, I-can't-control-anything feeling.  So, even though Industry gives us better options, I couldn't shake the feeling there had been a bait-and-switch.  Why had I been waiting around all during grad school?

There wasn't really a fight, just me wailing and throwing out some tired whining about tying myself to someone and following for the rest of my life (yeah, find an answer in there that you can live with).  If Industry is such an option, why was this the first time we'd talked about it?

It also made me realize that a lot of things I get angry about, information I was never given, wasn't necessarily information he had at the time.  When we got married, he never thought it would take him over six years to get a PhD.  All the sweet things he told me, he really believed.  It was my fault for believing it and not doing my research.  I also realized that I am SO LUCKY that I didn't have the drive to go to grad school.  I'm not that guy.

Ugh, cans of worms over here.  Lots of love and devotion, but a whole lotta worms.

Happy Valentine's Eve!

[UPDATE: I just wanted to make sure that the anecdote about the friend coming out was not to say that coming out is horrible, but the situation was an unnerving surprise.  Everyone wants the one they love to be truly happy, but my heart breaks for her every time I think about it.  It's hard not to think about how I would feel in that situation.]