Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Progress! Hope! Will the Traveling Spouse travel soon?

J had a meeting with a prof that knows a thing or two about professional development (this kind of person does not exist in his own department!). The prof laid some truth down on him: that it's perfectly sane to look at industry/government jobs; get your dissertation done, like yesterday; send out 100 applications, no joke. It's kind of daunting, all this work outside of finishing his dissertation AND defending/teaching/advisor-wrangling, but I haven't seen him look so optimistic in a long time. I will be seeing less and less of him for these next few months, but I am so happy for him (and us).

And then there's the iceberg that I've been turning my head away from: how long will it take to find a job? The economy is getting better, but I'm not going to kid myself. I could be working my current job for another year while he tries to find something. I am so tired of people asking me when we're moving, or having to turn down an opportunity because "we're leaving soon". I need to stop living life like I'm about to move, but that gets harder as time goes by. I try not to think about the things I've passed on because of "leaving".

Maybe I should go crazy and start looking for another job? No, that's madness. I'd rather tough it out here (I'm obviously good at that- toughing it out) than mess with another company by getting trained and then leaving. The least I can do is not put anyone out.

Or is that kind of attitude why I feel so resentful?


  1. When I first met you in Arkansas, I was freaking out because I had no idea what was going to happen in my life after undergrad (which I'd just completed). The Now-fiance and I had been together only a few months at that point, and I thought I was going to take a year off before grad school. Before Fiance and I met, I was going to take that year off at my parents, living rent-free and working some job. I opted to stay with Now-fiance, but that meant looking for work in Michigan in the fall of 2008. He wasn't going to support me, nor could he. I wound up being unemployed for several months before I got a job at Pier 1 (which I was lucky to get, even with a BA). Six weeks later, I got a part-time job that was relevant to my field. Ten months later, I got a library job and began library school. Two years later, Ed and I are getting married and I've been working a full time job for over a year. It sucks, but we got through it. I'll soon be looking for a new job myself when Fiance and I move, but I know how to be prepared for it this time.

  2. @Heidi I wish I had known you better then, and known the future a little better. What a conversation that would have been! I had no idea you took such a leap with Ed.

  3. Good to hear that J found a supportive faculty member to talk to. A friend in my department was essentially abandoned by his advisor when job hunting time came and had to build a lot of other ties before getting a job.

    I've never been able to tough anything out, though, especially jobs I'm unhappy in. It's too much time to be unhappy with. I spent 9 months at a horrible job I needed and was supposed to only be for a year. I dreaded it everyday, and it was such a relief to be out of it, even though it meant getting a very short term job for the last three months. Definitely worth it.

  4. @ab Well, clearly it worked out. Best decision I never knew I was making. But hey, I was 20 at the time so I knew nothing anyway.


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