Oh! Whoa! I'm back!

Well, lucky for me, this move has been pretty awesome. So awesome, I haven't updated in over two months. I've met people, gotten scads of volunteering time in AND made some cool-ass stuff. The "trailing" angst is pretty much gone since I'm in it, and it feels a lot different when you're not just fretting about it.

A unicorn and Hyperbole and a Half

I'm going to start doing some major craft stuff in the next few weeks, and attempt to keep better track so I can do tutorials (I hear you, Heidi).  But-- I am moving my blog to Wordpress, in order to change the URL and because Google can suck my yarn balls.  Very soon, you will be able to read/see my stuff at Jumbo Jibbles.  That is, if anyone still reads this.

After the flood

4 REAL - This was my fortune at the Chinese restaurant we ate at our first day in San Jose.

It's so hard to write about so much has happened. On July 7th, I got a text from J that said, "Call me-- not in your office". At this point, it had been over a week since he'd gotten the job offer, but nothing final on paper. It could be great or horrible. I went outside and paced around in the disgusting Arkansan heat while the phone rang, and he answered and said, "I got it".

Commence jumping and squeeing!  I calmed myself, strode into Human Resources and tried to tell them the news without peeing on myself.  They know my current work situation, and weren't surprised that I was so damn excited. And to their credit, they were excited for me as well.  I only went to them first so the motive would be clear when my boss murdered me.

I always thought resigning would have more of a dramatic, thrilling feel, but mostly I tried to be calm, respectful and get it over with.  Fifteen minutes didn't go by from phone call to leaving my boss's office.  And to her credit, my treatment has not been any worse than it usually is, since then.  I was able to give three week's notice and I am leaving with my to-do list finished and a detailed handbook for the next supervisor. Good. Bye.

So much has happened since then, such as a reprise of all the problems I've had with moving and not having a job, but this is all I can do for now.  We're one week away from the day we drive away from here never to be Northwest Arkansas citizens again*.  We've got movers, a place for the dog**, a new apartment, some friends in the city and a lot of excitement.  The physical stuff has mostly been easy, and that's what we've been dealing with.  We haven't started to say goodbye yet.

*Maybe when we are old.
**Please, no judgmental comments about how I'm a terrible pet owner. She is going to a home that is ten times better than the shitty home life we've cobbled together for her for the past five years.  Eat me.

Meetup.com in San Jose

Now that it's official, I signed up for a number of groups on meetup.com so I can jump in immediately.  Being in Silicon Valley, you have to wade through a lot of tech stuff, start-ups and New Age-y awfulness.  I was afraid that being in a non-tech field, having no children or power crystals, I'd be up a creek.  In the country's 10th most populous city, though, I will be ok.

The Non-Moms Club- Lots of clubs for moms, for all ages of children, but not a lot for just women specifically.  This group was created not to be anti-mom, but pro-we're-childfree-now.  They do a wide variety of stuff (drinks, hikes, charity), so hopefully I'll meed a variety of people.

Bay Area Ghost Hunters- J thinks I'm nuts, but I've never known any ghost hunters and it looks like fun.  Do I believe in ghosts? Well, not really, but I believe in having a good time.

San Jose ASL Meetup- This will help me practice the little bit I've learned in class so far.  I'm sure I'll be awful, but this is the best way to get better.  I've yet to practice with an actual deaf person.

There's a lot more, a lot of craft groups and biking groups, but I'll stick with these few at first.  The internet has made it really easy for me to have almost too much to do when I get there. Yippee!

Wish me luck!

Instead of waiting the day it was due (tomorrow) and getting closer to my lucky number 13, I submitted my application to the big job today.  I have snakes in my stomach!  It feels good to have achieved a goal.  There's a small chance I'll get this job, and a larger one I won't.  But what matters is that in making my resume and cover letter, I proved to myself that I have great qualifications for someone of my age and experience, and enough references to drown a cat (not that I'd do that).

Whew!  I feel like my biggest stressor is gone, and I can concentrate on the family gathering this weekend.  I was going to spend tonight freaking out on my resume, but now I'll go have a beer on the porch and tidy the house a bit for visitors.  Viva la Thursday!!

The first one is always the hardest

My man.

J has his technical interview with Google today. We both slept somewhat badly last night due to crazy wind outside and both of us getting a phone call between 3 and 4am.  I got up and made him coffee and made sure he woke up.  The call isn't until 2:30, but I am biting my nails til then.  I'm looking forward to coming home and finding a less stressed husband.  As for me, the weather seemed like a good omen this morning, window, cool and a little wet.  I am trying to remain as positive as I can.  No matter what comes of this, it's an accomplishment.

Sit tight and relax

Is it ok that I am just trying to go with the flow and see what awaits us? There is nothing I can do to get J a job, other than not make him go insane. All he seems to need is affection and the occasional errand.. so can I stop being neurotic now?  I promise to take it back up once he has an offer.

This feels good.

Oh yes, that phone interview

I made myself scarce yesterday afternoon so J could have his phone interview with the Googles.  A friend took me out for a beer since I was acting so emo, and I couldn't help but check my  phone over and over to see what time it was.  It was only about 40 minutes, and he said it went well.  We'd brainstormed lots of good questions, and he got to ask most of them.  The technical interview will be next week.  I'm amazed at how smoothly this process has gone.

In a display of what might either be sanity or forced failure, I decided yesterday not to apply for the library job.  After all these years waiting and supporting J through his studies, a little open space always twinkled before my eyes.  I imagined there would be some time between resigning from my current job and starting a new one somewhere else, where I'd be able to walk the streets of my new town and learn about it.  Have a little time to get my bearings before jumping back in full time and getting my bearings on the weekends.  Friend from last night said that wasn't weird at all, and owed to me as a PhD widow.  I haven't been saving for nothing.

Still, I should work on a cover letter for it, just as an exercise.

Cactus Hat: Take One

I dug myself out of the dumps yesterday afternoon and made some goo for paper mache.  As soon as it started to thicken on the stove, my mood change was instantaneous.  I grabbed a few balloons from my stash (oddly, always kept with the flashlights) and blew one up a little bigger than a basketball.  It's hard to judge how big to make it (1) because I've never made a barrel cactus, (2) I can't try it on my head if it's still a sphere and (3) I don't know how big this person's head it.  My head is on the small side, so I have to keep that in mind.  J has a very large head, so he can't be a model either.  Just hope!

My moveable studio

My paper mache recipe is just heat water on the stove, add salt, and slowly add flour until it starts to get thick. Ta-da!  I'm a fan of brushing the glue on the form, adding strips of newsprint, more glue, more newsprint.  I put about three layers on today, so I'll let it dry overnight and add 3 more tomorrow.  I'm thinking that'll do the job.

I haven't made paper pulp since I was in junior high, but Instructables has a bevy of information on paper mache.  I intend to use the paper pulp to make little knobbles (like the cups on an octopus, maybe?) to go up the sides of the cactus.  I'll stick the "spines" into these as they are drying.  I think this will be the most involved part.  All I need are a few colors of paint, and I am on my way.

You don't know how small my hands are! That could be the size of a grapefruit for all you strangers know.

As for making it stay on a person's head, I think I may try to sew a simple cap and have it on the inside, with earflaps to hold it on.  If all goes well, it will resemble a green, spiky beehive hairdo.   And bonus! My first attempt at making a cactus flower.  I am using a little artistic license.  This one is felted, thanks to FirstStitch's teachings.  Who thinks it's a good idea to see what these would look like shellacked?

PHONE INTERVIEW

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meetup.com: Picking a city based on search results

The internal referral J got for his Google application did the trick-- he received an email from a REAL PERSON on Friday.  He's gotten past the computers and has been asked to give his top three choices of location.  Google has offices in lots of awesome cities, but we narrowed it down to six, then to three:

1. Seattle, WA
2. Mountain View, CA (main headquarters)
3. Boulder, CO

We picked based on how likely J was to get a job at that particular location, whether we liked the area and all sorts of numbers (crime, cost of living, housing prices, weather).  Mountain View was a shoe-in since it's the main headquarters.  Some stats say it's more expensive than NYC, though, and that's scary.  We went ahead and stuck it there in the middle.  J left it up to me to pick the top location, and Seattle is big, similar to Portland, and I think I'd have the best chance at meeting people and finding things to do, also: jobs.

To chose between Seattle and Boulder (I've never been to either) I used Meetup.com to search for my interests.  I searched crafts, sewing, bicycles, feminism, ASL, libraries and made a judgment based on how much came up for each.  Starting out, though, I knew Seattle would have more.  Boulder is only a little bigger than where we live now.  J is familiar with Boulder, though, and says I'd really like it. Let's just say, though, I have never been skiing, and I've never had the urge.  I feel I'd be a waste of space in Boulder.  I like a bike-able city, though.

When we move, I will definitely use meetup to find some starter groups.  I'll admit, I'm already tired just thinking of how hard it will be to find new friends.

It's been a good Spring Break, though tomorrow's my last day of it.  J made a goal of finishing two applications per day, and so far he's doing it.  This is an extremely exciting time.

Dissertation Go Time

J turned in a rough draft of his dissertation yesterday.

(This song cracks my shit up.)

We were both home at 5PM, and he'd narrowly missed his advisor (the norm).  He handed me the stack of papers, and I read that he had thanked me by name at the beginning.  I had no idea that was done, and I got a little teary that I was important enough to be mentioned in a paper about things I absolutely could not explain.  I was thanked for my "patience and support".  I probably could have done better on the patience part.

So, that was the really happy news yesterday, and I'm still a little high from it.  I also found out a close friend was offered a job that will be really good for her.  Good news abounds.

J's set to defend in late April, which will hopefully give him enough time to make edits before the graduation deadline.  His parents have already called me regarding festivities, and his sister may fly in from the East coast.  This will be the second graduation I've been through with him, and if he won't act excited, I'll be excited for the both of us.

I've had a few people hearing about his impending graduation remark, "So you'll be gone soon!"  I wish it were that easy.  I am curious what J will be like when he is no longer a student.  I hope he doesn't take the road I took, which was getting really depressed and direction-less. But he always seems to take a slightly different road than me, so I think he'll be OK.  I think he'll be great.  I'll make sure he stays clear-headed.

All gifs courtesy of Gif Party by the amazing Molly Lambert.

GONNA GET A JOB

J applied for two jobs last week, his first outside of academia.  So, in solemn respect for this milestone, a commemorative Blingee*:


Free Photo Editor


*Yes, ridiculous. But can also be used for literary lols: http://useyourallusion.tumblr.com/

Progress! April!

Image from Ji Lee at Pleasenjoy.com

J has set his thesis defense date for late April and he has made a contact who could maybe get him an internal referral at Google.  The company is supposed to hire 6,000 people this year, so maybe J will be one of them.  An internal referral will really help him out, so this is a big deal.  It's exciting to see progress, and kind of fun/scary to see J get all nervous thinking about Google's hiring process: it's rigorous.  If anyone has any insight into what it's like to work there (at any of the locations) tell me about it.

Other than that, he's got four applications he's supposed to send this week: St. Paul, Austin, San Francisco and Seattle.  I could handle all of these, though I must say I'm partial to sunlight and not partial to frozen snot.

Jobs update

We found out yesterday that J lost the Colorado job specifically because of his advisor's negligence.  I mean, we already knew, but then we heard it plainly through J's mentor, who knew the researcher.  There's still another spot open he's been encouraged to apply for, but now he's going in a new direction.  I wouldn't mind living in Colorado, but it's not what he seems to want.

On a happier note, we met up with an old friend at the wedding, who has an indirect contact at Google. Wheee!

Next project: giant banana

The wedding was great, but I am going to do a whole post on it, once Heidi has done hers (I think she deserves the first shot at that particular subject).

Happy International Women's Day!

Here's a little quote from Sady Doyle of Tiger Beatdown, telling you to wave your feminism flag high and don't worry about being the epitome of feminism or stamping out every single wrong all at once or you're not doing it right:

sometimes, the bravest and most activist thing you do — and the most annoying, if you’re into that sort of thing — is to just step out there and be as feminist as you please, all on your own [emphasis mine]

Be yourself.  Or if you're not happy with how you've been being, be better.  Do new things until you find the things that make you feel good and smile when you catch yourself in the mirror.  Fashion is not always important, but wear something that makes you walk tall.  Eat.  Eat for health and eat for pleasure and don't apologize for it. Go take just one bellydance class.  Do this, you'll thank me I swear.

 Remember that at the end of the day, even ladies you don't like very much are your allies, and if you think really hard you might like them more than you think.  Re-think statements like, "I like being friends with men better" and ask yourself a lot of questions.

Ask lots of questions-- do not be quiet!  Being quiet gets us in a lot of trouble, even if being loud does, too.  Voices carry.

Remember that it's OK to be proud if there's centuries or millennia of history where you were devalued. Be valued now.  It's OK to be proud of good things, and remember that the definition of good is changing for the better.

If you are paying attention, you will be mad a lot.  It's OK to be mad-- it isn't your period, and when it is, that's OK too.

Remember that though the patriarchy is full of grade-A powerful douchebags, but it's more full of dudes who don't know any better, and they are capable of change. Also there are LOTS of guys in there who are great, who are feminists, who aren't feminists yet.  And all of them can be.  And when they all are, and we all are, we won't need the word anymore except to look back and remember how it used to be.

NATIONAL CRAFT MONTH

Us dorky makers have a month! A whole month! I got this hot tip from Heidi over at Hands Occupied.  How will we celebrate? I know I fell off the 28-days-of-blogging bandwagon (though to be fair, I did post 28 times) but I think maybe I will put up a picture of something I'm working on every day, and if I'm not working on something, just a picture of something I've made.  I will try to post some pictures of my new dress (and really crappy hand-made slip) after class tonight.

Craft projects for March:

2 more Louisa knock-offs
a giant banana
Grocery store murder scene diorama*
a red slip (gotta find a pattern)
new canvas purse
something green for my hair to accentuate the carrot-y color (new)
frame for Gabby Schultz comic print

Here's a picture of Ace Frehley of the Flowers while you wait:

So, the other focus of this blog, er, my travails with my spouse, are LOOKING UP!  Ever since the weird upset of him re-thinking academia, he has been glowing, and I'm catching it too.  He's sending me job listings that sound exciting and Google maps of the area, asking me where I want to go.  I know the economy might still be shitty, but it looks like there are lots of jobs in industry he can apply for, and enjoy working at.  In freaking awesome places.

But it only just occurred to me today, when he asked if I would like to live in Austin, TX, that wherever we move may be the place we die.  I realize how morbid it sounds coming out, but you've gotta understand that I spent my childhood moving around.  Not as much as an army kid, but enough that I don't know what to call my hometown and I haven't known any current friends more than 15 years.  My accent isn't even placeable.  For the past 3+ years I've planned on moving around a bit before settling down, so the sudden idea that we'll move somewhere and that's where we'll stay is really, really weird.

How do I know if I want to spend the rest of my life in Austin? Or Portland? Or Providence? I've only been to a few cities, and only for a week or less.  How will I know?  Luckily most of the decision hinges on where the best job is.  Where we move has never been a point of contention-- it was just the idea of moving.  Though that where should have some good job opportunities for me.

Other than working in libraries, what can I do? That pays? I am going to take some assessments on the Arkansas jobs site and see if it points me in any directions.  J says I could possibly do some low-level HR, but NOOOOOOOOOOO.  Unless I was an intern for Alison Green and Ask a Manager (her advice greatly helped me get my current job, and J is addicted too).  All my experience is in a library, or supervising people on projects.  Though I wish it was marketable, I don't know where my crafting will get me. One artsy friend has been whispering in my ear about design school.  Someone tell me what a bad idea that is.

*I really wish my phone was workable enough to post the pictures of the tiny, bloody handprints I have drawn on my fingers as stamps.

Designer Imposters

Remember Designer Imposters perfume? I was a big fan of whatever they called their version of Love's Baby Soft, probably called Infant Bliss.  I'm still not sure why women thought smelling like small children who couldn't yet wipe themselves was sexy. 

I'm feeling a little guilty about my latest sewing breakthrough: I re-created Kara-line's Louisa, after months of stalling.  I've still got to attach the sleeves, but that shouldn't be bad.  I took apart the muslin I'd been working on in my sewing classes (I stopped going on October) and spent 6 hours today cutting it out and putting it together (yay for vacation days!)  Here's the pics:

J left for the day and I covered the house in sewing crap.
Don't let anyone lie to you-- sewing requires space or you'll go crazy.

Dress almost done

Done!

I still feel bad about re-making someone else's dress, but it was a really good way to get into sewing. Plus, I want to wear this dress 5 days a week, and there's no way I could afford that many Portland-made dresses.  It's ok if you're not selling it, right?  If you like the Louisa dress, go check out the Kara-line website.  The dresses ain't cheap, but you fill out a little survey of what you like about your body and your favorite colors and stuff, and they'll send you a BOX OF DRESSES to choose from.  You have three days to prance around in front of mirrors and pick the one that suits you best.  I praise the designer.

Tomorrow I'll finish up the sleeves, and then to Joann for more fabric. I will make another one.  By the time it's warm enough to wear little dresses, I'll be so fuckin' cute you can't look straight at me.

Make a damn shirt or something

It was a weird doldrummy day (too much damn wind and no sun) so I spent too much time on the internet. By 9:30pm, I was jittery from too much sitting and told myself I needed to make something and NOW.  So I decided to get out the pieces of my Louisa dress (bought in ye olde Portland and being re-created so I can wear it 7 days a week) and see how far I had to go.  With all this crazy warm weather reminding me about Spring, I need to finish this pattern so I can make myself dresses.  When I got it out, I had an almost-finished dress missing ONE SLEEVE.  That's just the muslin and I'll have to cut it out and sew it together again with my fabric, but HOLY SHIT SO CLOSE.  Knowing I didn't have the focus to start taking it apart tonight, I decided to just go grab a piece of fabric and sew some lines on it.

I made a shirt, or what is supposed to be a shirt.

And it fits kinda like a shirt, and kind of looks like one.  That is the shot of confidence I needed.  Tomorrow (after the soccer game, aaagggh) I'm going to re-start the dress project.  Be on the lookout for a finished product in the next few weeks!  And make fun of me and call me a quitter if you don't.

Traveling Spouse blog lacking spousey or travely business

If the blog has been scattered, please forgive.  Right now, nothing bad and nothing great is going on.  J was given some great advice about industry jobs that made him really happy, and he's hard at work on his dissertation. PhD Comics are less depressing and more funny now.  SCOATS abides.

I don't know where my privacy line is right now.  I love writing here and it makes me feel better, but I also don't want to turn into an emotional-vomit blog, or say things to embarrass myself/J.  Telling him about the blog made me feel WAY better, because I was getting proud of it and wanted to share my happiness with him.  But now I've lost a little bit of that bitching edge and have become too un-anonymous to talk about more details without incriminating J.  No more talk about bosses or advisors, and sadly that could be really interesting.  Actually, it IS really interesting, but I'm playing it safe.

I will end this meaningless sorry I haven't been writing post.  Here's a shout-out to my favorite How to be an Adult blog, Adult Concerns.

It's just a shoe.

Progress! Hope! Will the Traveling Spouse travel soon?

J had a meeting with a prof that knows a thing or two about professional development (this kind of person does not exist in his own department!). The prof laid some truth down on him: that it's perfectly sane to look at industry/government jobs; get your dissertation done, like yesterday; send out 100 applications, no joke. It's kind of daunting, all this work outside of finishing his dissertation AND defending/teaching/advisor-wrangling, but I haven't seen him look so optimistic in a long time. I will be seeing less and less of him for these next few months, but I am so happy for him (and us).

And then there's the iceberg that I've been turning my head away from: how long will it take to find a job? The economy is getting better, but I'm not going to kid myself. I could be working my current job for another year while he tries to find something. I am so tired of people asking me when we're moving, or having to turn down an opportunity because "we're leaving soon". I need to stop living life like I'm about to move, but that gets harder as time goes by. I try not to think about the things I've passed on because of "leaving".

Maybe I should go crazy and start looking for another job? No, that's madness. I'd rather tough it out here (I'm obviously good at that- toughing it out) than mess with another company by getting trained and then leaving. The least I can do is not put anyone out.

Or is that kind of attitude why I feel so resentful?