Foot in Mouth Disease

[Rant warning-- sometimes these things need to come out]


You don't have time? Then why are you hanging out with me?  File this under graduate student marital difficulties.  Maybe I'm over-reacting, but when we're out having a good time, don't start jawing about how you should have come home sooner on the car ride back.  It makes me feel like 1) you didn't want to go in the first place (remember it was your idea, though), 2) I'm the reason you're not getting enough work done, 3) you don't have the gumption to speak up for your own time line and feel it's easier to make it seem like my fault.

It isn't.

I was under the impression that I was making a lot of choices that benefit my spouse and his future career, and that he could figure his own schedule out.  If he doesn't have time to go out, a date, come home for dinner, go grocery shopping, he should say something before instead of after the fact.  It's even worse when we were having a really good time out, and that retro-actively ruins it all. I have been planning my life around this person and he won't take responsibility for his daily schedule? Really?

This is something that has happened before.  Maybe you've gotten this impression from my blog, but I don't keep things bottled up and speak up if someone is doing me wrong.  I don't let things explode.  Since we've had this discussion before, I wish he would just realize that responding to me in a hurt voice when I'm speaking my mind at a normal inside-voice level makes me feel like some kind of monster. A monster who is working a job she hates and has her life pretty much on hold so he can pursue his dreams.  I am so scary!

I'd rather he just spend much less time with me, and save up the time he REALLY has to spend doing it in earnest, not worrying the whole time how he's going to catch up. Because that doesn't really count as being there.  Even worse, after these fights* he has to hang around the house until he feels like things are better between us, which makes me insane because the argument started because he needed to get to work. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE THEN.  I know he doesn't want to leave with bad feelings between us, but it makes me nuts!

So, I hope he gets a lot accomplished today, because my Sunday is ruined.

*Luckily, and I realize how lucky I am every day, these are the only things we fight about,  other than some tiffs over cleaning.  He has never raised his voice at me.  Once he looked angry at me, and that made me so sad.