In my case, I would not like my husband reading this. The anonymity makes it easier for me to get my feelings out. Plus, since my name is not associated with the writing, I can use this as a therapeutic tool and not worry about the quality of the writing as much. Attaching my name would give me instant writer's block.
In the beginning, when I was getting my head together and figuring out this new vocabulary, I said negative things about our situation. But I also mention frequently that my husband is my best friend and a fantastic person. This blog is my outlet, and it keeps me from being mean to him when I'm feeling down. So, does that cancel out the meanness in my posts?
I'd be heartbroken if he found this and felt bad (especially over issues we've worked through). People have started commenting, and I feel like this blog may be accomplishing its purpose-- I wish I could tell him about it! On some down days, people's comments have really perked me up and made me feel like, at least online, I am a positive force. But I can't just say, "Hey, I started a blog, you can't read it, but it's a good thing". It's natural to have some little secrets for yourself, but that's an implicit rule. It defeats the purpose to tell your significant other, "I have a big secret I can't tell you!" and leave it.
But it is also hard to keep it anonymous. I do things I'm proud of, that I'd like to include in my blog. I write about possibly losing my identity? I can't even talk about that identity! I'm afraid he'll connect me to this, or vice versa. Luckily, he hasn't seemed to interested in "trailing spouse" issues or reading any of Robin Pascoe's books (though I've suggested he might peruse one)*. I started finding resources for this blog by reading lots of new scientist blogs, and we've started to overlap a little on that. But what are the odds?
Other anonymous bloggers who came out, what made you finally do it?
Deep down, I don't want to keep this a secret from him. Truthfully, I'd like secrets a whole lot better if you didn't have to keep them to yourself. I'm not terribly mysterious.
*Why am I always reading little books here and there about relationship issues and he isn't? Blargh.