Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Frustration: Somewhat satisfied!

Photo by Joeywan on Flickr
I had that drink, and I re-directed my ire.  I talked to a friend, who had read my blog (support is really all I'm going for) and she bought me a beer, heard me out on my frustration and sent me home in a much better frame of mind. AND she is web-savvy and told me how to better optimize the blog so people can find it.  I felt kind of weird trying to wiggle my way closer to the top of Google searches, but when I needed support from other trailing spouse blogs, most of what I found were dead sites.  Maybe there are more out there, just not visible?

I probably wouldn't have any readers if The Notorious PhD, Girl Scholar hadn't posted my question about trailing spouse blogs on her own site.  I had sent an email, and she just posted the whole thing!  I felt absolutely loved that day, and it really inspired me to keep going when not many people could pinpoint resources.  Since then, I've started reading a lot of academic blogs by female scientists, since they deal with the career and focus on their work-life balance, gender issues and are generally safe places to comment.

Here's my list of people who have been helping me get through my days, whether they know it or not:

The Notorious PhD, Girl Scholar
Canadian GirlPostdoc in America
Female Science Professor
The Two-Body Problem
A Natural Scientist
Academic Jungle

Through these women I've learned more about what my husband is going through/will go through, how ladies have to navigate the world differently, and what all these acronyms stand for.

The wine glass pictured not only describes my after-work activity, but that my husband and I actually sat down at a table and had dinner last night.  I did not touch my computer after I got off work. We spent time reading/him in his office (IN HIS OFFICE!) working. Then he made me dinner, and we hung out. The night seemed so much longer. No TV, no internet.  We had a talk about what's going on.  I'll get to more of that later. It was good.

I've fallen off the wagon on some of my new hobbies and pursuits. The GRE did not happen, but only because I didn't see the point of taking a test to go to grad school when I was more interested in a new undergrad major.  The sewing had to take a backseat to the yard sale and Halloween (how I wish I could post pictures of our costumes!) but I was plateauing a little anyhow.  I need to do some independent practice before I start throwing out $20 each week.  We came into some free musical instruments, which means we lost a room to that pursuit.  Running/yoga has also been sitting in the backseat (it's really roomy back there).  Now that the house is empty/clean again, I don't know what I'll do.  Registration for Spring classes starts soon, so maybe I'll do something new.  Or just sit around in my empty/clean house and read.  Maybe do some work today?


  1. Re: other bloggers out there like you.

    I'm not in your situation, in fact, it's the other way around. I'm the PhD student, he's the employed one in the relationship. But I understand the dynamics of such a relationship - and I know that it's not easy at the best of times!

    Just wanted you to know there are others out there like you who know about the employment/research divide with regard to significant others!

  2. Hello Mistress! Maybe I should be heartened that I'm having trouble finding women in my situation, because they're all on the other side.

    To the academics out there, I really hope I don't come off as a whiner, or that I don't appreciate my spouse. Totally do. Love him to death, very proud of him.

    It's good to have a soundboard. I hope your husband is more patient that I am. I'll take a gander at yer blog.


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