Yesterday, after too much time by myself in my dismal job, and too much time spent navel-gazing, I had a serious case of the blues as I walked home. I got in the door, saw my husband sleeping on the couch (when I left, he was sleeping in the bed) and went straight to the bedroom and got in my cocoon. By the time he woke up and realized I'd gotten home, I couldn't even verbalize why I was so sad.
I just told him I was sad, and I needed some love and attention. Not in a guilting kind of way, just being honest. He cuddled me for a while, until I could start to make words. Anxiety, identity, it all came out in civil words for once. I asked him if he had any other applications he was planning on sending in. He told me about a job in NewTownX.
The title of the post is the first thing he said about it, before he even described the job. He said I'd love it, and got on Google Maps to show me where it was, and how far away from places I was familiar with. He's been there before for a summer job, so he knows the good stuff and some of the bad.
We spent the night eating pizza and cuddling into each other as hard as a human can cuddle. He explained the job to me, and we looked at the website. I felt tired from so much worry, and though he hasn't actually applied yet, the plan gives me some relief.
In the spirit of Asking Questions, I asked how many postdocs he thought he'd do before trying to land a tenure track (TT) position. He said, hopefully one, maybe two. I asked him if he'd kindly move his mobile office (on the couch) back into his actual office. He said he would, but when I get home today we'll see. It's for the best, and will help my sanity to have a place to sit, but it's an ugly couch and he makes the sight of it more bearable.