is wanting to at one time make a home where I am comfortable and also not wanting to sink my time and energy into building something that I might be asked to demolish soon after.
Sometimes it's hard to convince myself to pull weeds from the garden or do a really good job cleaning the bathroom. But seeing the messes makes me feel so apathetic.
Sometimes I wish I lived in the rooms you see in magazines, with a single lamp on the table and a neat bookshelf. Maybe a pair of slippers by the bed. This is when I start throwing/giving shit away. How it is that I still have things after years of these fits and starts?