How to Read a Town

felt macarons from Little Fluff Stuff

How to read a town, how to research a city, how to figure out where to live-- it all depends on what language you're speaking.  For me, I speak walk-able, bike-able, old architecture, crafting community.  And affordable, but I'll maybe have to learn a new dialect.  Looking at a new town when you've never been to it is hard.  I have no idea what people did before the internet (guess I should ask my mom).  I'm going to share some of the tips I've figured out about judging a town's compatibility.

1. Meetup.com-  Meet-up is a good place to start.  Smaller areas probably won't have a lot of entries, but a large city should yield up a group for just about anything (Southbay Goth Meet-up, LARPers, Raw food and board games night).  Pick your keywords and see what you find.  Now, I'm not sure how wide-spread meetup is, and it may be used more by some age groups than others.  Or maybe you don't even care about age groups.  Check it out.

Knitted cowl from Nisey Knits

2. Since this is at least 40% a craft blog, I chose to do some scouting through Etsy.com. Using their Shop Local search, I found sellers from the area we're looking at.  Then, I sent a handful of friendly notes asking about the availability of craft supplies and whether there was much of a crafting community.  I got answers back almost immediately about stores to go to and offers of help once I get there.  That was probably the most positive thing that's happened so far.  I'd like to thank Little Fluff Stuff (pictured above), maukDesigns, Nisey Knits, and La Plume Ethere for helping me feel at home before it's even my home. I even got an invitation to knit with someone!

3.  Google Street View: I can never use this feature without thinking HOLY SHIT IT'S THE FUTURE.  I've used this to check out my childhood home (they cut down my damn tree!) and find bike-able roads.  Now, I can snail my way through entire neighborhoods.  Looking at things from above always make them look weird and clinical, but street view is nice. The absence of deciduous trees in California makes me sad, but using this I could see that there are plenty of leaves out there.  Through a freak occurrence, J wasn't able to rent a car for his trip, but he could use the street view maps to check out the sidewalks.


View Larger Map

4.  City-data.com- Discussions from their forum often come to the top of my searches when thinking about moving/trailing.  It's a large enough website that you can almost always find someone moving from/to where you're going.  The design leaves much to be desired, but it is chock-full of facts. You won't laugh (you might cry, looking at housing prices) but you'll get some of the big answers.  This doesn't particularly give you the feel of a place, but gives more precise information about demographics/employment/industry than any Wikipedia article.

5.  WalkScore.com lets you know how much your city respects pedestrians and cyclists, which isn't important to everyone but it is to me.  And since it's hooked into Google Maps, you also get a list of cool places, by category, near the address.  For me, if all that pops up under coffee is Starbucks, I've hit a dud.

I hope this helps someone.  When J applied for jobs in Portland, I had more of an idea of what to expect. I'd been there and its reputation preceded it.  This part of California, though, boggled my mind.  And when you're feeling boggled, it's easy to focus on the bad stuff.

Status Report

Last night as we were getting ready for bed, J asked me if I had my druthers, would I want to stay here or move.  That's not an easy answer.  From the start of our marriage (and even before) the plan was he'd get his PhD, and we'd travel on his career path together (since I hadn't figured one out yet). So, as he started to get finished up, I started to disconnect myself from my town.  I did not renew my membership on a non-profit board that could probably have used me there, because I didn't want to drop out halfway through the year.  I stopped work on a craft fair I had been wanting to organize.  I refused a nomination to the staff senate at the university where I worked.  Twice.  At one point, even after I realized the poor treatment at my work was not going to change no matter how proactive I became, I refused to find another job that I would just have to quit soon after. At many points in here, I gave up hope.  I packed things up.  I sold 1/3 of my belongings.  I decided not to plant the garden this year.  I have been protesting any large Christmas gifts for YEARS because I didn't want to move with them.  God knows we could have used a new couch a long time ago. I hit pause.

But you can't hit pause on life. It keeps going, things accumulate, experience accumulates until it totally makes sense to go for that better-paying job even if the future is murky.  Submit some artwork to that show*.  Make some new friends and stop acting like they'll just be saying goodbye to you soon.

So, do I want to stay?  If I hadn't spent the last four years preparing to leave, yes. Of course. I'd made good friends, good connections, I love my house.  But I feel like I've spent four years refusing to grow and soiling my reputation with a flaky assertion that I'd be "leaving soon".  That feels really bad.  I have a hang-up about looking like a flake, but I think that's because it's what I'm known for by now.  I'm the one who's always saying she's moving but hasn't gone anywhere.

I shouldn't care what people think.  But I do care about all the wasted time and the negative parts of my reputation caused by it.  I want a fresh start.

That puts a lot of pressure on J.  I know there was always pressure, but I think it's part of the bargain when he's the one leading the charge.  I've got a different kind of pressure, one that isn't as valued or supported, as evidenced by the lack of blogs about trailing/traveling spouses.

I shouldn't be writing this blog-- I should be polishing my resume and writing a cover letter.  I have always been my worst enemy**.


*Somewhat hilariously (not at all) put on by the non-profit I had worked with and resigned from.  But I just got an email saying I'd gotten in but they didn't have a venue, so there wouldn't be a show.  Great.
**I'm not actually having a bad day.  It's just a real thinky day.

Flowers and shit

Have you ever looked at a  purple dead-nettle flower* up close? They look like crazy mini orchids.  This was as good as my little point-n-shoot camera could do with its macro lens, but it's still pretty neat.

We got a little down at the beginning of the week.  Google was really good about doing things quickly, and J found out he didn't get the job the day after he interviewed.  It was a relief really, since he'd had to neglect his dissertation and other job applications while that broo-ha-ha was going on.  It was a really good experience, and he'll be so much more prepared for subsequent interviews.

As for me, I am trying not to make much out of it.  Yeah, I got pretty down for a few days, but that doesn't help anybody.  The no-control feeling came back and I was like a robot.  A badly-worded text from my mother made me start crying.  I have painted my nails pink and dedicated myself to finishing two sculptures for an upcoming art show (I have never been in an art show, so I am submitting them for approval).  I've also got Chris Clanton on board for taking some profesh photos of the cactus hat this weekend.

So, my first commission is done, and I may have a second on the line.  Another acquaintance wants me to make centerpieces for her wedding.  That sounds like something I would very much like to do, but she is still planning what her theme will be.

*I had to do some image searching, as I kept calling this a clover flower. 28 years and I never knew what this common little flower was called.  There's also the Henbit Dead-nettle, which looks almost the same except the leaves are stuck directly on the steam, so they look a little more lanky.

Carried Away: Pacific Northwest Edition

AAAACK

Sorry about that.  The phone interview, of course, was J's.  One day exciting job news will be about me.  Oh wait, here it is!

This weekend, while we made our city rankings, I was looking at all of their library websites looking for job openings.  Absolutely nothing, but that doesn't get me down.  When you're looking for such a specific job in a limited field, it would be too good to always find something.  I've saved a few month's salary, so I'm not too worried (naive much?) but today I looked at one of the libraries and a very good position is open! Not so good that I'm not qualified for it (who's a librarian? Not this guy) but good in that it sounds like awesome fun/hard work and pays well.

Too bad I have never even been to that state.  The application/cover letter is due at the end of March, so what is the hurt in going ahead and having that ready?  I would, of course, discuss this with my colleague, but if he doesn't get a job there, I will not be far enough along in the process to burn a bridge.  So a gal from Arkansas had to pull her application? No one will even blink.  Do I want this job?  I'll have to do a little more research on their library and the goals of the job, but I think so.  I would very much like to get back into the public library setting, and I think after my current job, I'm bringing some more mature assets*.

This is a situation where I must be careful to give J the attention and support he needs while going through this insanely nerve-wracking interview process, but also remember to keep myself in the picture.  There's such a small chance of this hair-brained scheme working out, but when an opportunity like this jumps up, how can you not try?  If he got an awesome job he liked, and I got an awesome job I'd be good at, then I guess "Confessions of a Trailing Spouse" could retire itself.  I think I would rename it "Jumbo Jibbles World of Proposterous Proportions".  Or something.

So, he is currently scheduling a small phone interview with Google, which could lead to a more intensive phone interview with a test of his computery skills.  I haven't seen him since he got the email, but I imagine he's more nervous than I've ever seen him**.

So, thanks to Ask a Manager (I've been a reader for five years now..) and a good friend who got herself a good job, I will start writing a cover letter and reading the library's website in and out.  I may have a snowball's chance of getting this, but I'm gonna go at it like it's a sure thing.

*That's making me giggle.
**I'm pretty sure on our wedding day he was mainly hungry.

Awesome? Shame? Texas?

I'm sure everybody has seen this by now, the United States of Shame:

I was pretty happy with "Worst Credit Score", as Arkansas is usually the butt of any joke including goats, Billy Bob Thornton or cousin-marrying.  Most Arkansans fall back on Mississippi to make fun of, but unfortunately that's where I was born.  You learn to be tough at the bottom of the barrel.  Ohio is looking even better for us now, since they are worst at "nerds".  How is that bad?  I think it bodes well with J getting a job there.  And Colorado can't be too bad since I don't do cocaine. I have beat the system!

(Also: Delaware is "worst at" abortion? That is a discussion all in itself.)

And the rejoinder, The United States of Awesome:

In J's words, "BROMINE PRODUCTION?"  I agree-- we do lots of stuff ok: state parks, classy parking meters, Cavender's spice, jelly pie(?), first female US Senator, gays and bigots living in peace together, outhouse races, The Gossip, Maya Angelou and the freaking Clintons.

Beth Ditto and Secretary Hillary Frigging Rodham Awesome Clinton

Bromine, since as an Arkansan resident for 17 years I still had to look it up, is a halogen element used in pesticides, flame retardants and Mountain Dew.  Its latin root bromos means "the stench of he-goats".  Awesome.

What does this have to do with Texas, capital of wind power and low high school graduation rates?  This is the next place J is looking at for a postdoc.  I think I said, "TEXAS? TEXAS?" in an excited/anxious high-pitched voice a few times before he calmly answered yes.  Seriously, I have never heard Texas come out of his mouth.  So, it's now France and Texas, though I still think we shouldn't lose hope in Ohio or Colorado until there's an actual rejection letter. 

 I'm realizing just how little I know about what's going on in my spouse's head, how many places we might go that I can't even imagine.  Makes my little searches for library jobs seem futile. Texas. Texas. Seriously, Texas. I know I'm from Arkansas, but Texas seems so weird.   And even stranger, I find I am drawn to this idea.  Things to think about.

Six Months of the Traveling Spouse

I started this blog six months ago. Seventy-eight posts later, I think I've come a long way emotionally, in that I don't feel totally alone, or that I'm making up problems for myself.  I've learned that the problems (that do exist) were not necessarily going to be solved by a change in circumstances, but a change in attitude.  We are going to move.  I am going to have to quit my job and pack up my house and go somewhere where I will have no social ties other than my husband.  Wallowing in self pity and loneliness will only make things worse, so I will need to buck up and make a plan, and stick to it.  Sometimes I have to remind myself that there are aspects of this that will be utterly fun.  And that just because I am somewhere because of my husband, that's just the beginning.  That's how I arrived, physically. I will find ways to slowly erase that and stand on my own.

But! in the depressing kind of news you probably read this blog for, I found an article on relocation's effects on people by gender, and guess what! Ladies have it worse.  I know I am a social person, and find people/things to do to fill any voids in my life.  I call it resourceful.  This just means I have to start from scratch, and knowing this ahead of time will hopefully make the transition less painful.  I consider this blog practice in rallying my defenses and finding allies.  So far it is working really well.  I've tried to write other blogs, but they usually peter out from lack of topics.  This is the first site I've had that has a running theme, and even though I haven't "traveled" yet, there is always something to mull over.  It's really exciting to see that people read it, and it only takes one comment to plaster a smile on my face.  As a friend said recently, "Just wait until you actually MOVE". Yeah, readers, watch out.

Until I move, it's all pictures of giant, stuffed artichokes. My craft projects
 bring the pageviews to the yard, uh-huh.

People! In my blog!

Oh goodness.  Hello everybody! I am sitting in a coffee shop silently bonding with J. as he does work (not distracting him of course) and when I checked my page views (ok, yes, I do that too frequently) I saw 98 people had come today.  Total flabbergastment ensued.  It seems a bigwig has linked to me on her/his twitter account, who blogs on the same blog as Comrade Physioprof (Drug Monkey on Science Blogs), who I remember is a huge commenter on feminist blogs from when I first started reading them.  I feel touched by greatness. What a Saturday morning!  If anyone is here who is married to an academic, welcome welcome welcome and I hope my ramblings set you at ease.  If you are an academic, please don't be offended by my whining.  I have learned so much since I started this blog.  If you are here because you love feminism, crafts, or the Alien franchise, I hope to not disappoint.

To India, with love

So, scratch that. I realized I was getting ahead of myself, like when I imagined I'd be a seamstress after two lessons and started a twitter after I thought I'd started a wildly successful blog.  Tiny Park, Arkansas will be a blog or something someday, but really, I don't need two blogs.  

Here's some pics of the clay/pin "robots" I made for a friend to take back to India for her little sister.  I started making these years ago just for fun, but after I invented a position for myself on a non-profit called Art Amiss, I suddenly had to make over 200 of them for a show.  I'm no longer with that group, but people sure do remember those little robots.  That group has asked me to take care of their Etsy site, and I hope I'll get to do some craftin' too.  I don't want to be on the board again, because board members can't submit artwork to shows.  This is the first time I think I'll actually have something to offer.

If anyone knows how to do two columns of pictures, let me know. This was a long one.

The husband sent out his third letter today, which was really a full-on application to a program in Boulder, CO (formerly referred to as NewTownX).  I like the idea of that.  Ohio is still on the line, but France hasn't been launched yet.  He's stressed, but I want to hope that he's feeling good and accomplished.  I'm incredibly proud of him and I'm very happy.  I apologized today for my impatience, which would have been hard to do a few months ago.  I really didn't understand the obstacles in his way.  He seems to be getting over them.

We're going to spend a quiet weekend, but when he goes out to do research tomorrow, I'm going to A-Z in Alma, Arkansas.  It looks like a scary religious compound from above, and is the largest deal/dollar store mall ever.  It is insane.  The things housed inside it must not be, and are very cheap.  I'm taking some friends, and I think our aim is plastic dinosaurs, wrapping paper and op art.  Yes, necessary things.  Sports, furniture, clothing, bridal, floral, rugs, gifts and sports equipment, all in their own giant iron sheds.  And a diner filled with fried everything.  The last time we went, we spent about seven hours and came out dehydrated and thrilled, only spending about $30.  I'll be on the lookout for another factory-second Justin Bieber shirt.  My husband and I have a strange liking for pop star t-shirts and pop stars we don't really know anything about.  He's got a Backstreet Boys shirt he's been wearing for a decade, and has been mentioned in his teaching evaluations.  Good or bad? Who cares, I'm getting some tiny dinosaurs.