The scale of opportunity

More blog-searching today (and somehow this is a productive day at work) and I found a "trailing spouse" blog, albeit an expat* one.  She doesn't like the term trailing spouse either**, but her blog is endlessly positive:

As a trailing spouse, identity can be a tough thing (because if you're like me, that last thing you want to be called is a "trailing spouse"). But if the career you had before isn't going to work out abroad (or you lose yours via a layoff like me), maybe there's something else you'd love to do and try. Maybe, in fact, this is your big opportunity for that something you used to put on hold. 

Chantal at One Big Yodel 

I don't want my opportunity, a positive thing, tinged with the fact that I only have it because it's the consolation prize for having no control***.  Here's my internalized misogyny (it's just popping up way too much this week) again, in that I can't see my worth if I didn't come to it myself, as if taking that opportunity is just backsliding into a dependent female role. I don't, however, feel this way when it comes to education.  If J was working and I was going back to school or taking classes in whatever field I settle on, that feels ok. But if it's to start an Etsy or make Halloween costumes (traditionally female pursuits) it's not.  See what I did there?  Thanks world.  You've made me a woman-hater.

How do I cleanse my mind of these tendencies?  I feel fucked all-around.  And I haven't even touched upon the stink of privilege in all this.

*I'm more interested in domestic relocation.
**Yeah, I changed my title again, because no one's going to find this blog otherwise.
***I'm speaking for myself, not Chantal.  She has her shit together.

Livid and inarticulate: Planned Parenthood Funding Axed in Budget Cuts

The House voted today to stop federal funding of Planned Parenthood.  The vote passed 240-185.  That means 10 Democrats voted for this?  Planned Parenthood (bless them, fund them, donate to them) gets one third of their funding from the government. And I never thought that I'd link to Fox News, but there's an article about how a proposal from Betty McCollum (D-MN) about cutting Nascar funding (WTF) was voted down, while cutting family planning funds down.  Drag racing up, women's lives down!  I'm trying to track down how representatives in Arkansas voted, but I know it's not good.  What can you do? Sign a stupid internet petition, write a real letter, call, show up in person with a sign? Right now, bills are being crafted that will make it ok for a person to kill a doctor for performing an abortion if that person is doing it to save the fetus's life [Update: it's gone now, but why did it exist in the first place???].  It is all I can do to not send emails to all representatives in AR that just say "YOU FUCKING SUCK".  I know it's not the end, but really? Birth control for horses, but not for human women.

Never let anyone say that there is no need for feminism anymore. Make them explain why.  Make them explain this. And this. And this.

John Boehner, "Rape-rape", and what we can do about it

*Trigger warning*

Top-priority in this country, in John Boehner's POV, is changing the definition of rape.  Not for the better, mind you, but to make sure that less women are covered for government-funded abortions that result from sexual assault.  You probably read about "rape-rape" during the latest surge of the Polanski debate, but now our politicians are seriously differentiating a violent assault from date rape, statutory and coercion.   The way it's been, only rape and incest are covered by the government for abortion funding. So to further whittle that down, the Repubs want to define what "kind" of rape they're willing to include in this exemption.  Drugged? No. Unconscious and woke up with someone inside you that you did not consent to?  Young teen molested by your stepdad? No. No.

Rape is rape. There is not "rape-ier" rape. There is no tiered system.  There is abuse and hopefully there is help, but many people in government want to take away the second option.

Sady Doyle of Tiger Beatdown has started another twitter campaign, and if you smirk at that kind of idea, that's fine, but it works to get the word out (@JohnBoehner, #DearJohn).  Write to your representatives about this, tweet about it, write about it, and don't let it go down silently.  It isn't hard-- fill out a form, tell them what you think about what's happening.  A redefinition of rape is terrible in terms of abortion coverage, but it may have far-reaching legal implications that will obviously not help survivors and victims.

Think about how fucking awful any sexual assault is, then think about being told you weren't raped enough to get government assistance. And you can't afford an abortion on your own.  Or raise a child. This makes me so ashamed of our country right now.