Mammatus

from a local twitter search

We've had crazy-pants rain for the past week, dangerous too.  I didn't take this picture, but it's exactly what the clouds looked like when I got out of my ASL class last night.  They looked like movie clouds.  A local search on twitter for "clouds" taught me these were mammatus ("breast") clouds.  They're super cute and look like boobs but are indicative of really bad weather, often tornadoes.

T-minus 2 days until J's dissertation defense.  He got sick this morning, and I'm sure it was nerves (vegetarians just don't get food poisoning).

Here's a terrible thought: our relationship has been really good, and I've been way calmer than usual since he began the downhill to graduation.  In other words, as he's gotten more stressed, I've had a reduction in mine.  I think it may have something to do with me feeling like I actually have more control in my life than him for once.  Even if it's not real control, the comparison makes it look like it.  That makes me feel bad, but since I'm feelin' so stable and great, I'll use it to make sure he's doing good, too.  I swear it is not schadenfreude.

Thursday and Friday I get to spend all day in a workshop for supervisors/managers.  I'm excited, because I like my job and would like it more if I was better at it.  I think my boss doesn't value this kind of training much, but I figure some is better than none.  I also get to leave an hour early on Friday. Score!

I have references!

I sent out 8 emails in the past week asking for permission to use different people as references, and 7 have replied back already (in the affirmative).  Luckily people at past jobs really remember me.  I feels good to take stock of who would say good things about you, because you have to remember good things you've done. And dangit, I have skills that match up with that job description, even if I don't have years of wisdom.

The application is due in a week, so I need to get on the ball with my cover letter.  I'm plumbing the depths of Ask a Manager for advice, but the hard part is making it sound believable (not overly dramatic), interesting and of course, well-written.  This is the first time my BA in English has made any difference, but I don't need to let my emphasis on Creative Writing bloat the letter with flowery language.  I should just write, write, write and have J tell me what sounds crazy, and I'll keep the rest.

from zoitz.com

Trailing, my ass!

But J! He is defending his dissertation on Friday! After that, he has about a week to make corrections and graduate.  I am absolutely not worried about this.  I'm not worried about him, either, because he seems cool as a cucumber.  I'm getting more and more excited about our life being more like it was a few years ago, when we had more time to do fun stuff!  It's impossible to go back in time, but a return of a less-stressed and always-working spouse is going to be heavenly.  When I think about how my conception of "having fun" has changed in the past few years, it is sad.

Dissertation Go Time

J turned in a rough draft of his dissertation yesterday.

(This song cracks my shit up.)

We were both home at 5PM, and he'd narrowly missed his advisor (the norm).  He handed me the stack of papers, and I read that he had thanked me by name at the beginning.  I had no idea that was done, and I got a little teary that I was important enough to be mentioned in a paper about things I absolutely could not explain.  I was thanked for my "patience and support".  I probably could have done better on the patience part.

So, that was the really happy news yesterday, and I'm still a little high from it.  I also found out a close friend was offered a job that will be really good for her.  Good news abounds.

J's set to defend in late April, which will hopefully give him enough time to make edits before the graduation deadline.  His parents have already called me regarding festivities, and his sister may fly in from the East coast.  This will be the second graduation I've been through with him, and if he won't act excited, I'll be excited for the both of us.

I've had a few people hearing about his impending graduation remark, "So you'll be gone soon!"  I wish it were that easy.  I am curious what J will be like when he is no longer a student.  I hope he doesn't take the road I took, which was getting really depressed and direction-less. But he always seems to take a slightly different road than me, so I think he'll be OK.  I think he'll be great.  I'll make sure he stays clear-headed.

All gifs courtesy of Gif Party by the amazing Molly Lambert.

Starts and Stops

Once again, I'm feeling the drag of J's advisor halting progress.  What do you do when you can only get your advisor's attention for 15 minutes a week and they won't write your rec letters or even let you know they haven't done them yet? J's feeling pretty sheepish, as his (now) top choice asked for letters probably two weeks ago, and we're still not sure she's got them all.  He had to send her an email making sure she got them, because his letter writers won't respond to his emails about whether or not they will/have written them.  Grrr.  But-- it was the end of finals week last week, so I should have patience.  I just hate to see him get down about it.  Things got exciting for a few days and then shut down.

In other exciting news, our landlord has dropped another bomb on us.  In September, we had actual contact with him when our A/C went out and he casually told us he was thinking about using our home as leverage in a custody battle.  "I figured I'd let my wife live here rent-free, and her lease is up in June."  Yeah, only slightly horrifying.  Renters' Rights in Arkansas are pretty grim, so we had a huge garage sale and sold off maybe 1/3-1/2 of our belongings just in case he got even flakier and we got the boot.  The idea of moving and then having to move again in 6ish months was horrifying.  We decided to get lighter.

Before that  there was talk of him selling the house, which was OK since our neighbors were interested (and intent on keeping us as tenants).  That fell through when the divorce started and he never returned their calls (after they had already paid for home inspections).  J. says we're probably good because nothing moves fast and the landlord is flaky, but I don't want to count on someone being flaky in a way that is beneficial to me.

Talk is back on about him selling off his properties, and luckily the neighbors are thinking about trying to buy the house again.  I got mad at J. last week for seeming to be cavalier about our possible eviction, but he was just way too stressed/depressed by the rec letter quagmire.  Can we just get out really soon?

The current plan is finish the thesis in March, defend in April, all done by May.  And somewhere in there find a job.  I don't know what I can do at this point but be optimistic.  This blog has helped that last bit dramatically.

In happy-go-lucky news, I had a kick-ass birthday party on Friday that made me forget about my birthday blues earlier in the week.  Here are some pictures, taken by my photographer friend:

My amazing sis-in-law

I love how I look like a tarty cherub in this shot.

Our bathroom has really good light, so eventually everyone came in for some group shots.

Detail of decorations

We forgot birthday candles, so Jonathan obliged with his lighter.

My sis and her new boyfriend. It was hard to find the cutest picture, because they are disgustingly wonderful together.

All in all, it was the best party I've ever had.  My sis-in-law and best friend helped me deck the house out in pink streamers and aqua Christmas balls and decorate a corner just for photos (seen above).   There was a glitch in the karaoke system (namely a microphone and amplification) but we remedied it with a hairbrush and really enthusiastic singing.   The rest of the night was taken up with Framboise floats and photo shoots and chocolate tort.  No one got sick. No one got sad. Everyone got hugs. Then everyone went home.

My boss may be cursing out loud in her office, but we've got a holiday coming up, and my husband is officially done with research and in THESIS MODE!!!1!!!!!1111!!!! :)))))))))))  He will be writing, not doing any crazy new things for his advisor, just working on getting done!



But hopefully, he is not feeling like this:

PhD Comics