How to Read a Town

felt macarons from Little Fluff Stuff

How to read a town, how to research a city, how to figure out where to live-- it all depends on what language you're speaking.  For me, I speak walk-able, bike-able, old architecture, crafting community.  And affordable, but I'll maybe have to learn a new dialect.  Looking at a new town when you've never been to it is hard.  I have no idea what people did before the internet (guess I should ask my mom).  I'm going to share some of the tips I've figured out about judging a town's compatibility.

1. Meetup.com-  Meet-up is a good place to start.  Smaller areas probably won't have a lot of entries, but a large city should yield up a group for just about anything (Southbay Goth Meet-up, LARPers, Raw food and board games night).  Pick your keywords and see what you find.  Now, I'm not sure how wide-spread meetup is, and it may be used more by some age groups than others.  Or maybe you don't even care about age groups.  Check it out.

Knitted cowl from Nisey Knits

2. Since this is at least 40% a craft blog, I chose to do some scouting through Etsy.com. Using their Shop Local search, I found sellers from the area we're looking at.  Then, I sent a handful of friendly notes asking about the availability of craft supplies and whether there was much of a crafting community.  I got answers back almost immediately about stores to go to and offers of help once I get there.  That was probably the most positive thing that's happened so far.  I'd like to thank Little Fluff Stuff (pictured above), maukDesigns, Nisey Knits, and La Plume Ethere for helping me feel at home before it's even my home. I even got an invitation to knit with someone!

3.  Google Street View: I can never use this feature without thinking HOLY SHIT IT'S THE FUTURE.  I've used this to check out my childhood home (they cut down my damn tree!) and find bike-able roads.  Now, I can snail my way through entire neighborhoods.  Looking at things from above always make them look weird and clinical, but street view is nice. The absence of deciduous trees in California makes me sad, but using this I could see that there are plenty of leaves out there.  Through a freak occurrence, J wasn't able to rent a car for his trip, but he could use the street view maps to check out the sidewalks.


View Larger Map

4.  City-data.com- Discussions from their forum often come to the top of my searches when thinking about moving/trailing.  It's a large enough website that you can almost always find someone moving from/to where you're going.  The design leaves much to be desired, but it is chock-full of facts. You won't laugh (you might cry, looking at housing prices) but you'll get some of the big answers.  This doesn't particularly give you the feel of a place, but gives more precise information about demographics/employment/industry than any Wikipedia article.

5.  WalkScore.com lets you know how much your city respects pedestrians and cyclists, which isn't important to everyone but it is to me.  And since it's hooked into Google Maps, you also get a list of cool places, by category, near the address.  For me, if all that pops up under coffee is Starbucks, I've hit a dud.

I hope this helps someone.  When J applied for jobs in Portland, I had more of an idea of what to expect. I'd been there and its reputation preceded it.  This part of California, though, boggled my mind.  And when you're feeling boggled, it's easy to focus on the bad stuff.

Today is the first day of HELL YES

So, Dr. J got through his dissertation defense, and we are now spending a dreary Saturday NOT THINKING ABOUT DISSERTATIONS AT ALL.  Tonight he is making dinner.  We watched some TV.  We may go out to see some music, and then go to a party.  Maybe some of you out there understand how colossal this all is, and how completely normal it has been for these to be impossible scenarios.

(I promise to stop calling him Dr. J eventually, but I'm running with it for at least a week.)

I've been trying to pick his brain about how it feels to be post-defense, but he is as usual a cool cucumber.  I am visibly excited, and have to hold myself back from making lists of things I want to start doing again.  Oddly, going to bed at the same time was something I forgot used to be normal.  So that was awesome.  Though long hours away from home, staying up hours after me, never doing anything more than going out for dinner has been our normal for years, I'm glad to go back to the old normal.

I'm also glad I can stop trying to find meaning through PhD Comics.

Our Lady of Idaho

Two Christmases ago, I gave my father-in-law a potato I won on eBay.  I can't remember exactly why I did this, but he ended up thinking it was very funny and sent me out to Hobby Lobby the next day for a length of red velvet to serve as a backdrop.  He is a novice photographer, and loves a challenge.  I finally got around to framing the photo he took and hanging it very prominently in our house.

Here is the photo of said potato, where I first heard of its fame:

from The Kitchn

My alternate name for it was Mary Mashdelene.

PHONE INTERVIEW

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dissertation Go Time

J turned in a rough draft of his dissertation yesterday.

(This song cracks my shit up.)

We were both home at 5PM, and he'd narrowly missed his advisor (the norm).  He handed me the stack of papers, and I read that he had thanked me by name at the beginning.  I had no idea that was done, and I got a little teary that I was important enough to be mentioned in a paper about things I absolutely could not explain.  I was thanked for my "patience and support".  I probably could have done better on the patience part.

So, that was the really happy news yesterday, and I'm still a little high from it.  I also found out a close friend was offered a job that will be really good for her.  Good news abounds.

J's set to defend in late April, which will hopefully give him enough time to make edits before the graduation deadline.  His parents have already called me regarding festivities, and his sister may fly in from the East coast.  This will be the second graduation I've been through with him, and if he won't act excited, I'll be excited for the both of us.

I've had a few people hearing about his impending graduation remark, "So you'll be gone soon!"  I wish it were that easy.  I am curious what J will be like when he is no longer a student.  I hope he doesn't take the road I took, which was getting really depressed and direction-less. But he always seems to take a slightly different road than me, so I think he'll be OK.  I think he'll be great.  I'll make sure he stays clear-headed.

All gifs courtesy of Gif Party by the amazing Molly Lambert.

Happy International Women's Day!

Here's a little quote from Sady Doyle of Tiger Beatdown, telling you to wave your feminism flag high and don't worry about being the epitome of feminism or stamping out every single wrong all at once or you're not doing it right:

sometimes, the bravest and most activist thing you do — and the most annoying, if you’re into that sort of thing — is to just step out there and be as feminist as you please, all on your own [emphasis mine]

Be yourself.  Or if you're not happy with how you've been being, be better.  Do new things until you find the things that make you feel good and smile when you catch yourself in the mirror.  Fashion is not always important, but wear something that makes you walk tall.  Eat.  Eat for health and eat for pleasure and don't apologize for it. Go take just one bellydance class.  Do this, you'll thank me I swear.

 Remember that at the end of the day, even ladies you don't like very much are your allies, and if you think really hard you might like them more than you think.  Re-think statements like, "I like being friends with men better" and ask yourself a lot of questions.

Ask lots of questions-- do not be quiet!  Being quiet gets us in a lot of trouble, even if being loud does, too.  Voices carry.

Remember that it's OK to be proud if there's centuries or millennia of history where you were devalued. Be valued now.  It's OK to be proud of good things, and remember that the definition of good is changing for the better.

If you are paying attention, you will be mad a lot.  It's OK to be mad-- it isn't your period, and when it is, that's OK too.

Remember that though the patriarchy is full of grade-A powerful douchebags, but it's more full of dudes who don't know any better, and they are capable of change. Also there are LOTS of guys in there who are great, who are feminists, who aren't feminists yet.  And all of them can be.  And when they all are, and we all are, we won't need the word anymore except to look back and remember how it used to be.

This is what a feminist looks like: Gabby Schultz

This is the last post of the day, promise.  I'm going on a trip to Michigan for a wedding, and I'm pretty sure I won't have time for thoughtful posts.

Yesterday I received a tube in the mail, filled with a color print of one of the best comics ever: How every single discussion of sexism and woman-type stuff on the internet (and real life) has ever happened and ever will happen, always, forever, until the earth finally falls into the sun. (Or until the patriarchy is dismantled).  Gabby Schultz is a man, and I think statements like this from men are very, very important.  This is not to say that the many pieces and speeches made by women about internet misogyny are not important.  They are, and I'm glad every time I hear one because I can say, "See! This happens! And it is totally shitty!" But since the shit is almost always coming from men/boys, to hear one of them put his put down is great.  Feminism is not a fight we can fight without men.  We need the men to come along with us.  If it wasn't possible for men to be feminist, we'd be fucked.  Herland sounded great, but men are people, and I like people, and we need them.

Here is the comic, which you should read:

If you are a lady on the internet who has ever said anything on the internet and other people could tell you were a lady, you have experienced this. Or you've witnessed it happening to other ladies. It has happened so bad to other women that some of them had to leave the internet, because they were threatened with physical violence.

The origin of this comic is a simple, true comment made by comic artist Kate Beaton (creator of Hark! A Vagrant!), after several "compliments" from readers saying they wanted to marry her and have her babies (or, her to have their babies as it were). She responded by saying (in brief) that those aren't compliments and do more harm than good. Compliment the talent, not the gender/looks of a person. You can read a great synopsis of the blow-up that ensued here and here.

I love Kate Beaton's work, and I'd already read Schultz's memoir/educational book about herpes, Monsters.  I love it when two creators I like converge, but this was an unfortunate way to.

After the comic got 666 comments (seriously, before he had to just shut it down) he decided to make some prints, one of which I was delighted to purchase so people may gaze upon it and go, "Huh, I guess that's right".  And when I opened the tube, there was also this:

Signed drawing by Gabby Schultz, just for me!!!!

When men speak up about sexism, they are not losing anything that they shouldn't already have, but giving others what they should.  If by being kind and respectful to women makes you lose something, then it was not something you probably want to keep.

To end, I will leave you with a Kate Beaton comic, that is pertinent to history (of course), computers and reminds me that International Women's Day is coming up on March 8th.

Kate Beaton's 'Young Ada Lovelace'.

Awesome? Shame? Texas?

I'm sure everybody has seen this by now, the United States of Shame:

I was pretty happy with "Worst Credit Score", as Arkansas is usually the butt of any joke including goats, Billy Bob Thornton or cousin-marrying.  Most Arkansans fall back on Mississippi to make fun of, but unfortunately that's where I was born.  You learn to be tough at the bottom of the barrel.  Ohio is looking even better for us now, since they are worst at "nerds".  How is that bad?  I think it bodes well with J getting a job there.  And Colorado can't be too bad since I don't do cocaine. I have beat the system!

(Also: Delaware is "worst at" abortion? That is a discussion all in itself.)

And the rejoinder, The United States of Awesome:

In J's words, "BROMINE PRODUCTION?"  I agree-- we do lots of stuff ok: state parks, classy parking meters, Cavender's spice, jelly pie(?), first female US Senator, gays and bigots living in peace together, outhouse races, The Gossip, Maya Angelou and the freaking Clintons.

Beth Ditto and Secretary Hillary Frigging Rodham Awesome Clinton

Bromine, since as an Arkansan resident for 17 years I still had to look it up, is a halogen element used in pesticides, flame retardants and Mountain Dew.  Its latin root bromos means "the stench of he-goats".  Awesome.

What does this have to do with Texas, capital of wind power and low high school graduation rates?  This is the next place J is looking at for a postdoc.  I think I said, "TEXAS? TEXAS?" in an excited/anxious high-pitched voice a few times before he calmly answered yes.  Seriously, I have never heard Texas come out of his mouth.  So, it's now France and Texas, though I still think we shouldn't lose hope in Ohio or Colorado until there's an actual rejection letter. 

 I'm realizing just how little I know about what's going on in my spouse's head, how many places we might go that I can't even imagine.  Makes my little searches for library jobs seem futile. Texas. Texas. Seriously, Texas. I know I'm from Arkansas, but Texas seems so weird.   And even stranger, I find I am drawn to this idea.  Things to think about.

People! In my blog!

Oh goodness.  Hello everybody! I am sitting in a coffee shop silently bonding with J. as he does work (not distracting him of course) and when I checked my page views (ok, yes, I do that too frequently) I saw 98 people had come today.  Total flabbergastment ensued.  It seems a bigwig has linked to me on her/his twitter account, who blogs on the same blog as Comrade Physioprof (Drug Monkey on Science Blogs), who I remember is a huge commenter on feminist blogs from when I first started reading them.  I feel touched by greatness. What a Saturday morning!  If anyone is here who is married to an academic, welcome welcome welcome and I hope my ramblings set you at ease.  If you are an academic, please don't be offended by my whining.  I have learned so much since I started this blog.  If you are here because you love feminism, crafts, or the Alien franchise, I hope to not disappoint.

The internet was listening to my thoughts....

And it appears that Noomi Rapace, who played Lisbeth Salander in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (they made an American version?) is on the shortlist for A PREQUEL TO ALIEN OMFFFGGGGGGGGGG  DJAOADJFA;DJFAIEJ;AEJAIJA ;JE; AJ IJ;FIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I never know when something awesome is happening until it's just there, which is nice for immediate gratification.  I was trying to see if my blog would ever show up on a google search, trying Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Jane Eyre, AND Ellen Ripley (the answer is no) and I found this post.  I am so happy right now.  If I was to get a bad decision tattoo of a face on my back, I would get Ellen Ripley.