Sad day

I tried to get a good head start back to work. We made a soup from our new raw cookbook, but it made my stomach feel bad, and I got to bed late and couldn't sleep well (J. came to bed at god knows what time, and woke me up as usual).  Still, I got up, ate breakfast and got to work my usual 10 minutes early.  It only took about 30 minutes for my boss to be genuinely mean to me.  I guess since I'm writing a blog post you can tell that kind of behavior doesn't inspire me to be my most productive.

This semester's goals are to make a handbook for my job, so the next person doesn't have to waste time muddling through the little dumb details that slowed me down.  My boss knows I'm making a handbook, and of course didn't tell me she thought it was a good job.  I have a very spare handbook that I started with, that she recently told me wasn't even updated before I started all these years ago.  Awesome!  Other goals are to further clean up old files and take a good look at our training materials.  Things get outdated so fast.

My boss starting the year with anger and impatience reminded me that my imminent escape is really tenuous right now.  We still don't know if J's advisor has written any letters, or why exactly he's been held up.  I'm trying to push my anger into sadness, because I'm gonna have a pity party anyway and my sad is more responsible than my angry.  I haven't really gotten down about J's rejections, but if he doesn't get a job because of things he couldn't help that weren't his fault, I'll have trouble redirecting my anger.  I know that my anger can't do anything but makes things worse, so this is hard.  I can't imagine what it's like for him, since he is so much more emotionally reserved than me.   I wonder if he needs a hobby that has nothing to do with his work to give him some added joy/success right now.  I think Osmos is the only thing he'll geek out on right now: