Oh goodness. Hello everybody! I am sitting in a coffee shop silently bonding with J. as he does work (not distracting him of course) and when I checked my page views (ok, yes, I do that too frequently) I saw 98 people had come today. Total flabbergastment ensued. It seems a bigwig has linked to me on her/his twitter account, who blogs on the same blog as Comrade Physioprof (Drug Monkey on Science Blogs), who I remember is a huge commenter on feminist blogs from when I first started reading them. I feel touched by greatness. What a Saturday morning! If anyone is here who is married to an academic, welcome welcome welcome and I hope my ramblings set you at ease. If you are an academic, please don't be offended by my whining. I have learned so much since I started this blog. If you are here because you love feminism, crafts, or the Alien franchise, I hope to not disappoint.
Hello again! I just thought I'd introduce myself, since we were having such a nice conversation about TED. (I hope that Elizabeth Gilbert's talk was inspiring enough to banish any thoughts of internet trolls, btw.)
ReplyDeleteI spent most of the last decade preparing for a life in academia - I'm ABD now and have been for a number of years. Toxic department, advisor issues, complete burnout, yadda yadda yadda - it's a familiar story. Anyhoo, I don't know if I will finish (I've taken a job for now which allows me to keep the dissertation on hold) and I'm always eager to hear other perspectives on the Ivory Tower.
Hey Lady D! I'm glad you were able to find a job you like, and have the opportunity to put your PhD on hold til you want to go back. I can't say I wouldn't feel some resentment if J. did that, but I'd be fine with what he really wants to do as long as we get to move somewhere else. I have not been enjoying the limbo my life has been put into. Or at least, being put into that position sooner than I ought to have been.
ReplyDeleteIt's really important for a grad student to be as truthful as possible to their significant other. What they want, how long they want it to take, how long it could take. Unfortunately, we didn't have that talk. I now see that as my fault, for just not asking the right questions. I knew we'd be moving on somewhere else, but I woefully underestimated how long it would be. He had his Master's graduation a few weeks before our wedding, and I started my current job a few weeks after the wedding.
What I know is that this experience, and having a majority of my friends still in grad school has convinced me I don't want to go to grad school.
Unfortunately meaning, that I had incorrect expectations, not that I'd have left him if I'd known!!
ReplyDeleteHi a.b., just followed you over after you left a couple of comments over at my blog. Nice place you've got here! I'll be reading. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHey GMP! I started reading your blog this summer. I was looking for people like me but had no idea how, so I looked for people like my husband (but ladies, specifically) hoping they'd have the magic word.
ReplyDeleteHow horrifying would it be if my husband's potential boss ever read this blog? Is that insane? Am I doing anything with this blog that could hurt my husband's chances at getting a research position?