tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691617250881401314.post4479940240700794975..comments2023-10-28T02:27:00.116-05:00Comments on Secret Confessions of a Trailing Spouse: This in place of the teary rant I was writing earlier.a. b.http://www.blogger.com/profile/17104737221730849084noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691617250881401314.post-26954384907012867402010-07-23T10:45:23.995-05:002010-07-23T10:45:23.995-05:00r.b. - just found your blog via notorious ph.d. (t...r.b. - just found your blog via notorious ph.d. (thanks for sharing!) ... as a lady with a background in man-centric science (think natural, physical) at big universities - let me tell you you're v. much not alone in grappling with gender issues, roles, power, who wins, etc etc etc.<br /><br />i've seen this 'trailing' in both prof-pairs and folks who don't share the same academic careers. i think it's often an awkward thing to talk about openly; this may be why you've had some issue finding blogs that speak to your stuff.<br /><br />some ideas - be honest in spots w your partner re what you're feeling. talk to other lady, and non-lady, and paired and non-paired, academics and non-academics @ your university. sit down with a big piece of paper and try to brainstorm what you'd do if the world were your (resource limitations be damned) oyster.<br /><br />and then take a week's vacation and come kick around portland, a land of bikes and art and relatively-affordable things and good food/beer/coffee/younameit- if you've never been. he can have focused time while you're gone (check-ins on his progress= allowed) and you can havet the friggin vacation you deserve.anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08482497675754668349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4691617250881401314.post-24725985945472879612010-07-22T18:21:40.717-05:002010-07-22T18:21:40.717-05:00I like the comic. I had a BF who did this -- canc...I like the comic. I had a BF who did this -- canceled activities that we talked about doing in order to "write that last chapter," only to come home to find that he hadn't written a word all weekend. <br /><br />Just remember: just because *he* doesn't do those fun things doesn't mean that *you* can't. And who knows? Maybe if he sees you having fun, he'll be motivated to finish up so he can join you.Notorious Ph.D.https://www.blogger.com/profile/08700875559325201086noreply@blogger.com